Insights from Rocks

Thanks to five-peso Laboratory Manual for Physical Geology I bought in August last year, I was led to understand a bit about rocks, which, according to geologist, are aggregates of minerals and mineraloids. The manual also wrote that to know more about Earth's history, one must start the study of rocks, "for they bear testimony to their origin and subsequent history." True enough, layers of rock have shown the pre-human life, where fossils of early animals have been preserved well. Stone age is the term used to describe the era of humans using rocks as the main source of technology, an array of artifacts that became forerunners of our modern tools and instruments. Civilization, and thus man-made structures have risen, taking root through the Earth's bedrock as their foundation. Moreover, rock is always synonymous to the Earth, and many literature has written this kind of timeless metaphor. Indeed, rock is undoubtedly an important foundation of human life.

I don't want to sound like a scientist here, but this rock thing has an interesting take on my deeper understanding of Love. Looking closer, the rock is a simple fragment of this Earth, perhaps has witnessed millions of years of changes, yet remains unmoved and unchanged. Change is the main quality of our existence, seen in the turn of seasons, of weathers, of eras, of ages. Life comes and goes, from cells to human beings, no exception. But what has left behind is the rock in this kaleidoscopic rhythm of life.

I was particularly surprised on the 8th commune when during my sharing a web of wisdom became so clearly threaded in the topic of Love. I found myself quoting Jesus in Matthew 16:18 where he said "upon this rock I will build my church." Christ's teachings are quite mysterious and cannot be taken literally, for His poetic wordings can only be deciphered with discerning wisdom. It had been my dilemma for many years, and realizing His meaning of rock is liberating. It was right there before my eyes. Rock, the symbol of lastingness, is the symbol of Love.

My most favorite, and perhaps the most active wisdom I have from the Buddha is his saying on Dhammapada 5: "Hatreds never cease through hatred in this world. Through love alone they cease, this is the eternal law." Eternal. This word is the antithesis of the Buddha's teaching of impermanence; yet this word echoes the quality of Love. Only Love has the power to dissolve hatred and to stop violence. And it is for eternity, it doesn't change and never can be corrupted. The Buddha's words pushed me further to juxtaposed this message with the essence of a rock. This rock, bearing innumerable years of existence, represents how Love is truly eternal.

Like a seed sprouting, this rock nesting on my neurons had eventually grown into a very insightful statement I shared in the 9th commune. While sharing the message of love to a group of teenagers at my home, I was again amazed to learn more about Christ's first temptation. Satan asked him to turn stones/rocks into bread, but Christ refused. In a split second, I recalled a friend who often refers to money using the word "bread." Money is somehow a symbol of immediate survival, of insatiable hunger we humans want to satisfy, and thereby never leave us contented. We eat this bread everyday, we do our affairs based on this bread, we decide and not decide because of this bread, we harm and kill each other because of this bread. All of our lives are surrounded and cycle around this bread. It seems that this "breadmania" has ruled our lives and still we remain hungry for more. With the power we know we have inside, we have chosen to turn the "rock" into this bread, and thus suffering became a normal human experience. Nevertheless, Christ said that man does not live by bread alone. It didn't say no need for bread at all. Its not just bread. Love matters, for the words said with Love feed and satisfy this hunger and emptiness of our lives.

It was my first chance to have a small talk with a new Muslim friend after an interfaith service in Pasig. It is quite a dream, since I want to learn more how Love is seen through the Islamic eyes. We had a vibrant exchange of thoughts, and his sharing were intuitive response to my questions on Love. He quoted from the Hadeeth (oral traditions of Muhammad) and I asked him to write this in Arabic on my small notebook. It says in English: "Every part of the person's body must perform charity." Charity is often equally defined as compassion, or more so, unconditional Love. Only awe and gratitude came from me while hearing these words. Finding a Muslim friend allowed me to understand Love in the context of Islam. More than the religion itself, the human experience behind the words of Muhammad represents the deep-seated longing to express and live Love. It reminded me that for every thing that I see, I must see it with the eyes of love. For every deed my hands do, I must do it with Love. For every words I hear from others, I must listen to it with Love. I must open my arms with Love, walk in the path of Love, eat with Love, speak of Love, smell flowers with Love and all the infinite actions I can do as a being. I must be, do and have Love, because I am Love.

The wise builds his house upon a rock. A modern technique if you ask civil engineers. Finding the bedrock is a challenge yet the most important thing to ensure that a building would erect. No wonder the Christ's used the word rock. Every house (which symbolizes the body) standing upon rock (which is Love) can last forever, unaffected, unshaken. This body, sooner will corrupt, so temporary, if acts with Love, can be rendered incorruptible. The flesh may wear out, but not the Love that has made it vibrant and alive in every moment of its life.

The night before His enlightenment, the Buddha was tempted by Mara, the lord of death, and eventually challenged Him to tell why is He rightful of awakening. Unperturbed, He touched the ground and said "the Earth is my witness." Rock, the main ingredient of Earth, borne witness. Of all insightful thoughts about rock, it therefore upholds Love as the true measure of our awakening.

May the eternal Rock within us reminds us the eternity of Love.

Chronicles of a Medical Technologist

When it was my first time to draw blood, I was so cocky that I can do it in one shot. I volunteered to demonstrate, so I started the ritual: I tied the tourniquet around my classmate's upper arm and palpated the vein. With a pretense of confidence, I began to disinfect the vein with alcohol then aimed the needle on his arm. I bored the needle in his vein, waiting for the drop of blood to peek into the syringe, but nothing came. After several seconds, I pulled the needle a bit and tried to search the vein like finding a hole in a cross-stitch fabric. Still nothing came. He felt a prickle inside his arm, a sign that no vein was hit but his tendon or perhaps muscle, which is quite painful in a thrust of a needle. I stopped, pulled out the needle and untied the tourniquet. A wave of electric coldness flowed from my hands down to my toes. I was deeply embarrassed. So when I started as a medical technology intern back in 2002, I was too afraid of drawing blood from patients, and wished not to do it in my internship. But a prankish event happened : our senior trainer assigned me to my most hated job. During my first week in a hospital in Laguna, I was teamed-up with a long-time intern who always reprimanded me of my jittery and sweaty hands holding the needle and tube, faint-hearted of the idea of failing again.

My former profession requires to master this skill, also known as phlebotomy or venipuncture. It requires strict techniques to draw blood samples, while preventing infection and hematoma (a mass of blood inside the tissue due to imprecise puncture), and at the same time safeguarding oneself from needlestick injury which will cause one to contract some of the worse bloodborne diseases like HIV. There are many risks in doing this; nonetheless, these were not in my mind at the time. After two weeks of grueling mastery, I became a "sharpshooter". No more jitters and sweat. I gained the most inspiring learning; that needles, syringes and test tubes are instruments that led me to the earliest days of developing compassion.

Interns assigned in "warding" section are the ones who collect blood samples from patients. It was my first assignment, and I was always sent to the hospital ward, emergency room, and intensive care unit. Rambling from ward to ward, I met patients lying on their hospital gowns, with long tubes attached to their hands, where intravenous fluids drip every other second. Even with their relatives beside them, most patients' wore their faces with wrinkles of anxieties. Almost all patients and their loved ones shared the same concern: where to get the money to pay the ballooning hospital bill, and when to get healthy and live their lives again.

It was heartbreaking. Although no one was sick in my family, I had kept that agony of seeing patients staying inside wards, breathing all the sickening smell of the hospital and helpless of seeing them suffer with all uncertainties. I was at least a witness, powerless except of drawing the blood from their arms and fingers. That feeling lingered, but along with it was a new way of seeing things. Reminded of the Gesundheit principle of Patch Adams, a true-to-life happy doctor portrayed by Robin Williams, I have begun seeing patients not just a case of "a diabetic with gangrenous foot", but a human being who deserves a smile and caring from a healthcare professional like myself.

My fellow interns usually finish their rounds for 30 minutes or so, but I often loitered for 1 hour and a half. Everytime I entered a hospital room or ward, I greet patients with a smile. Either before or after drawing the blood, I chatted with them about anything under the sun. For most patients, letting their blood to be drawn is an annoying experience. For some, they crack a cliched joke like "ubos na yata ang dugo ko," (I have no more blood left), followed by a laugh, trying to mask their anxieties. Even so, they understate their despair of being sick and broke, two things they felt as curses, while being inside a place where they feel most people are indifferent. So it was my little secret that even I had seldom failures of drawing blood, no one was hostile toward me. It was just after seven years, without even knowing the word compassion, that I learned I had practiced it in a place where it is needed most.

Yet it was a challenging practice. I remember my fellow interns and even my seniors drawing blood from patients without even smiling at their patients. And their manner seemed normal to their profession. I came across with some nurses who raise their voices while answering their patients' questions about their conditions and treatments. I saw doctors laughing in one corner while a dying patient is in the other. I found these healthcare professionals arguing with their patients' relatives about the procedures and medications, which, in my humble opinion, are not really helping the patients, but only for the sake of strictly following standards. This world of "healing people" became a blinding truth for me as an eyewitness. I chose this path with the fervent dream of becoming a doctor. But the dream began to crumble. I was disenchanted, but nevertheless hopeful that there must be another way to help patients.

Along with this world, I discovered another: the interconnected galaxies of world wide web. It was a beginning of new journey. I cannot remember the exact manner when I stumbled in one website talking a lot about natural medicine. So I told myself this might be the solution. I relished those newfound knowledge, and began to dream again. I can be a doctor but not a doctor that people are used to know, who just stoically writes a prescription after a series of silent auscultation and pupil examination. I wanted to bring back the knowledge of the power of natural healing in each patients. After college, I ventured a multilevel marketing company selling natural health products. But more than selling anything, which I don't have the knack for, I became engaged in researching about natural alternatives for healing.

This adventure set the course for a greater understanding of healing. I was able to redefine the word health. Well, medical authorities have their own scholarly definitions, but for a layperson they are quite technical. So I began by sharing my classic definition: remove the last two letters and there you go; health is heal, the power of healing. These healing capacities can be intensified only if a patient will use nothing but natural. I thought before that sooner there will be no more use for any medical conventions. But I was dichotomizing this reality. So when I understand the role of understanding Love, I have flashed back every moment of my hospital experience, which are all rooted to the simplest and most rewarding: drawing blood.

Last December, by a friend's request, I spent 2 separate days in a hospital lab. There again I met people who still belong to this world I left behind for a long time. I held again test tubes, syringes, torniquet and microscope. I smelled again the sterile air, with a faint whiff of perhaps blood and urine, alcohol and dried sweat. I got across with people walking with stethoscopes slung on their necks, all clad in either white coats or scrub suits. And once again I smiled at patients and their loved ones, struggling to be happy amidst the nearing holidays. This tangible experience not only brought back the old days, but relived the virtue that I was once doing but unaware of. With this emanating awareness, I started sending them intentions of blessing and health.

More than any physical manifestation of disease, every patient is a human being seeking love, the love they thought they lack, unconscious of the Love within them. More than any complex medical knowledge, it is the heartfelt touch of a doctor, the caring aura of a nurse or the wonderful smile of a healthcare professional, that is most important in the process of healing. Treatments, drugs, diagnostics, and alternative modalities are all but accessories, and they are just "clanging cymbals" without being empowered with love. This is perhaps my transforming insight--my hospital "lab life" was a prelude for my growth in "Love life", a life that understands and experiences the depth of universal Love. Now I have become more thankful that through the stronghold of medical science, a new consciousness in my being was born. I am a healer, the healed and the healing, all wrap into one being.

I no longer practice my profession, and most parents, colleagues and other people who value diplomas made of blood and sweat tell me sayang (what a waste). People find it a waste to learn that I'm not putting my profession in good use, especially in this economic crisis when the great Filipino dream is to migrate to North American shores, to earn good money, and to secure future lives. I won't say I don't value these aspirations. I won't even say that I wasted four years of my life and perhaps a million of funds just to end up swimming against the tide. Everything has its reason and as what I recalled from my good friend when she quoted someone that "Life is in perfect order", I'm certain that I charted my own life course. Drawing blood is obviously something that I rarely do and possibly not to do anymore, but the very love and compassion I came up from it are much more treasurable skills that I continuously learn and perfect. Quoting Deepak Chopra from his book Ageless Body, Timeless Mind: "The education of love begins in a moment and ends in eternity." And with that proves every moment I shared with patients during my old days as a medical technologist has sparked the eternity of my healing journey in Love.

Experience of Love

During the last commune, the basic dilemma everybody faced was how to experience love. For many years, my friends who joined the commune have been experiencing so much pain, discomfort, frustrations, guilt, remorse, resentment and anything both the mind and heart can feel bitter upon. A friend in her mid-forties shared about her challenge with her ex-husband whom she "loved" so much, forsaking her own life, only to end up being betrayed. Another friend in her twenties, shared her frustrating relationship with her mom whom she felt careless to her. In spite of these bitterness, I am confident that they are brought in the right time and chance, for the commune provided them the moment to explore love and its true nature. Yet, the biggest ordeal is, after knowing what love is, how can one possibly experience it?

I also asked myself the same question. What is the experience of love? As a young boy, the answer seemed so erratic that I thought having a romantic relationship was the true experience of love. But later it brought emotional pain that I almost wanted to become a robot. I questioned God and life why should I feel emotions. If fleeting emotions are experience of love, then why they beget emotional suffering. It is not uncommon to hear people committing suicide in the name of unrequited love. And because of this elusive experience, many people find themselves living meaningless lives.

In the book The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield wrote a scene to describe the message of the fifth chapter: The Message of the Mystic. After being pursued by armed men, the nameless protagonist had ended up very stressed atop a cliff, overlooking an astounding natural panorama of rain forest covering the highlands of Peru. The next couple of minutes led him to experience kind of ecstasy. He began to feel buoyant, elated, and had a deep connection with nature. He cannot label the source of his joy, if it comes from the scenery or from himself, thereby blurring the limitations of his reasoning mind. All he had is a wonderful experience of at-oneness with the universe and of interconnection and harmony with life. This is a parabolic rendition of the experience of Love.

The same experience has been well-studied by Hungarian psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihaly and he published the account in his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Csikszentmihaly describes this experience as "focused attention" whereby a person experiences losing one's ego, distorted sense of time, dissolving self-consciousness, and being deeply engaged in the process of creating without any sense of worry. Apparently, flow has only been documented among artists and athletes. Although this is the case, the flow still resonates the undocumented experiences of thousands, without any labels, that these manifested criteria are the same criteria of experiencing love.

I am sure that you might have one experience of Flow: through doing artistic or creative work, or playing sports, or may be watching a wonderful natural scenery, or embracing someone, or praying and meditating. These experiences are valid, and they contribute to a much larger consciousness of the power of love. But, these are just tip of the iceberg. For the experience of love is so immense one can actually be incapable of describing it. Yet beyond this ineffable love lies the inner knowing that any human being can do it.

This is why most of the experiences of love are present in different spiritual traditions: satori, nirvana, rapture, fear(or awe) of God, kundalini, devekus, transcendence, wu wei. These and other sorts of terms can be easily enumerated and discussed each, but still the essence of these concepts stays perplexing to anyone unprepared. This is why Jesus Christ told his disciple to be like a child, for a child's consciousness is not judging, not labeling, not reasoning. Only then one can begin to experience love. And the experience will begin to liberate and bring the awareness of Oneness.

A new found friend told me about his most baffling experience when he was a very young boy. Together with his family, they went up a mountain in Northern Luzon where he grew up. As they reached the peak, everyone was so engrossed with taking their break and preparing to eat, but the boy went away from the group towards an unfamiliar area. It was his first time to be up in the mountains, overlooking steep highlands full of flowers vibrant in lavender, emanating with light. He felt unspeakable joy and awe, absorbed with the light flowing in and out of his being, and began to see interconnectedness. He later described to me that he could not define who was observing and being observed, as if the experience made him one with the scenery. It took him years to share this experience, for to tell to others adds to his bafflement. He had met a lot of people, all across the socioeconomic spectrum, and talking to them brought him no satisfactory answer. And it began to make sense, for our unintended meeting that day perhaps a completion of that personal puzzle. As he was telling me the story, I felt connected with him, started to establish the link of his experience to that of love. And the only answer that had sprung from my mind is he had a perfect example of the exact experience of love.

Many people thought that ecstatic experience like this is very rare, for their years of conditioned pain disabled them to learn how to experience love. An insight came to me after rereading Erich Fromm's book The Art of Loving. He said that the greatest fear and anxiety of man is to be alone. To compensate this, one enters an orgiastic state, achieved mostly in different ways: creative artwork, sexual orgasm, and alcoholic or drug use. No wonder why most people who are disadvantagely addicted can be seen in different light. They are seeking for meaning, seeking for love. They want to experience it, but unable to sustain it, thus they become addicted to something or someone. That goes the same with romantically involved people, who are dubbed as "martyrs," trying to sacrfiice everything, for the fear of being alone. This is also clear among drug and sexual abusers, workaholics, greedy with objects, codependents, corrupt officials, showbiz fanatics, narcissistics, mentally ill, sick and poor people and others who are still feel empty, unloved, unaware of the greatest nature of reality at the core of their beings.

How to begin experiencing Love? Awareness and calmness are the keys. This is how God wants us to have in order to see the Love within. Be aware of our deepest pains, to allow healing to take place. I used to be a hating person, always justifying of having deep-seated hatred. There were a number of people I used to hate, and they were emotional baggages to me. One day, I found them heavy, and began to utter this words: I forgive him, I forgive her, I forgive them, I forgive myself. As I became aware of my hatred, Love manifested as forgiveness, then became peace of mind. From peace of mind it became joy, and then harmony, and then detachment. The process is endless. Love manifest in different forms. So Love can also be experienced in a myriad of ways.

When we stop looking outside from something or someone for happiness and love, we begin to experience both. We stop asking God of giving us things and people, for to experience God is Love enough. To experience Love is to experience God. Seeing the Love within is the beginning, and we can let go everything that makes us miserable. The Love within that we see is the Love we see with others, and we begin to be more compassionate and that makes it easier to Love our enemies and everything that we think we don't like. For the world we see outside is the world we see inside. And from within, only from within, the experience of Love can be felt and realized.

The "Taxi Ride " Commune

I often feel uneasy taking taxi rides: the fare is hiking until I reach my destination, thus I always distrust the driver. I also often lose my sense of navigating directions, which I use in many jeepney rides. And the worse thing possible is to be mugged. But, this one taxi ride I had 2 nights ago was something more profound than the rest. If not for being 2 hours late, I won't be able to experience this very special ride.

I was trapped in a heavy traffic along Imus, Cavite on my way to Manila. A friend was waiting, and he had been there for 2 hours. I was uncontrollably worried, as if I squeezed out all my calmness that moment. We were about to attend a special event in Quezon City where both of us participated for the past 5 months. It was scheduled to begin at 6:30 p.m., and right at that time, I was still on the bus. We need another 2 hours to make our way out of the heavily entangled traffic to reach the venue. That was the reason why I worry. When I met my friend, he was very composed, happily caught my attention in the middle of the crowd. I was really sorry, but he said it was OK. Still, we were clueless how to get to our destination in the fastest way possible. Taxi ride was the only option left.

After hailing 3 taxis bound with passengers, a heaven-sent taxi arrived like it was ready to pick us up. I asked the driver if he can bring us to our venue where we would come for the first time. He asked us a small tip and then we're all set. Without any second thoughts and past judgments, I gave all my trust to the driver to lead us to the fastest route. I think that the attitude of trusting became a fertile ground for us to talk about Love.

Of course, the driver can overhear any conversation from his passengers and it made us welcome him to join. I mentioned to the driver that my friend and I are both from Batangas, and in a surprising coincidence, the driver's wife is likewise. Then a chain of topics sprung up, overlapping one after the other. One of them was about the Communes.

I shared them my endeavor of holding the Communes in Laguna. Communes are held to give way to talk about the most neglected essence we have in our lives: LOVE. I had drawn some of my most favorite and inspiring verses in the Bible, referring to the Love that is all inside us, the Love that we are. In Matthew 6:33 Jesus tells us to seek first the Kingdom of God. To find where the Kingdom of God is, Luke 17:21 says that it is all within us. Because God, according to 1 John 4:8, is Love. And all the qualities of Love are in 1 Cor 13:4-7.

The driver then asked me: "Sinasabi mo ba na magiging Diyos na rin ang tao?" (So are you telling me that humans can become God?") It was an unprecedented question from someone whose every day only loops around the busy city roads. All I had in mind was to answer our true nature: WE are all Love. And if we are Love then we are God. It is a very simple logic.

He would have disagreed me at one point, but as he stressed that we become "like God" for we embody God's quality, I couldn't agree more. He shared from his own understanding what God and Love are, and this heartfelt thought is what moved our conversation to become a Commune in its own right.

Kuya Boy, the driver, told us a story of one of his passenger. A guy in his thirties who just came from a hospital somewhere in Manila was enraged as he get in the taxi. He was very angry on how the hospital staff treated him, something that concerns with his qualifying documents to accommodate him in the hospital. As he was raging, his blood pressure shoots up. He crumpled the documents, cursing the hospital that rejected him. With calm demeanor, Kuya Boy appeased his passenger's anger. "Relax lang." ("Just relax.") He told him that nothing can be done except to accept things as they are; the more he gets angry, the more he can endanger his life of possibly dying on hypertension. Minutes later, the guy calmed down, breathed deeply, smoothed his crumpled documents and then thanked Kuya Boy. He felt OK, his anger appeased, and went on well that day.

This story is a perfect example of how Kuya Boy shared Love. And through it, I learned that he is a percentage of thousands of people living and sharing Love silently, in their simplest yet most profound ways. I began to recall my worrisome thoughts just an hour ago before this taxi ride, and made me appreciate that those prior events caused me to experience this commune on the road. Kuya Boy told us that I must continue the Communes, which he thought is an important undertaking to spread the message of Love--the message that WE are LOVE.

We arrived one hour late with all the worries shed out. Kuya Boy was near home, so he decided to cancel the tip he previously asked. We were very thankful, and sent intentions of blessings to him as he left.

It was funny that Love really make things a lot possible. It turned out that we were not really late at all. Our fellows were still waiting for our special guest to arrive. The guest arrived 10 minutes later and then the event officially started.

Things happen for a reason. And that reason is LOVE.

The Communes

Six years ago I was torn between two books. One was a book on writing, which I found an engrossing connection. The other was a textbook I needed for my college subject. Badly in need of passing for internship, I bought the textbook. After several months, I passed. Still, the book on writing was a very unwilling sacrifice because I didn't found any copy in any shelves of all the bookstores I had visited. Until a month ago.

This book on writing by Elizabeth Ayres, entitled "Writing the Waves" has led me to understand again the original meaning of communication in Latin: com- means "with" and -un means "one". For the author, the word communication is "to be one with." Her meaning led me to conceive the name of this endeavor.

There could be a lot of names possible: study group, support group, fellowship, gatherings, meetings, workshops, association, brotherhood, cell groups, etc. But there is something in the word Commune that resonates in every one's being. After learning so much from many ancient and modern spiritual teachers, it is only one truth that echoes from them: We are all ONE. But we are not aware that we are.

And the decision to name this undertaking as Commune is an intuitive unfolding. I was in one of my most peaceful state when the word came up from me, as if a seed sprouted from earth. We need to begin to be one with each other, for we are all ONE.

But most of us still harbor the illusion that we are separate by time and space. And this very skewed view is what causes all the problems in the world; all the problems in our lives. This illusion had almost led me to mental ill. And I believe that we all have, one way or the other, the problem of this illusion.

Understanding this need is the beginning to find the path. This is a very profound insight for all spiritual teachers. They found a way how to be one with this truth. Being One with is to be awakened to our true nature: Love.

Communes may not be a quantum leap, yet it is one step. Lao Tzu once said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." One step. This is all what we need to do. Since Love can never be contained in one's heart and mind, Communes will serve as the confluence from which the the Love within all of us will flow. All we have to do is to begin.

Let us all be one with Love.