The Goddess Within

For most of us, to see God as a woman is quite unimaginable, for we have long accepted that God is only a man, a father, who oversees us with power and control. Our history has galvanized the image of God as a man, whose power is beyond measure, and whose authority knows no boundaries. This is the God we have believed who fathered every one of us, and provided the life that we possess. But, today, the face of God is changing. In this new era of awakening, humanity is restoring the balance of how we see God. We are now embracing that God is not just a father, but a mother who gave birth to us all.

We are now invited to see God in a different way. There is no need to replace God as man with God as a woman. To see the powerful qualities of God in union with the nurturing qualities of the Goddess, we can now understand how significant this insight is in our lives. While we can find the kingdom of God within, together with all its greatness and strength, we can also take refuge with the sanctuary of the Goddess.

The Goddess within is not a substitute to the image of God. To recognize the Goddess is to reconcile with God's great Loving capacity. To find the Goddess within is to see that God can cherish us like a mother, or more so, a mother himself. The Goddess is the face of God in the time of conception and growth of Life. This Goddess is our inner humanity, our wonder and miracle, our potential to create. Regardless of gender, this is more to rediscover the psyche, what Carl Jung calls the anima. To honor the anima, our feminine psyche, which is just another way of calling the Goddess, is to do the same with God, our masculine psyche, our animus. To say that there is a Goddess within cannot dishonor God, for God is but the completion of being a man and a woman, not just in terms of sexuality, but in the light of Truth of the Soul. God is the union of all opposites that are always in harmony with each other. God and the Goddess are but two distinct being of Oneness. They are both within us. They cannot be separated. Christ said, "The two become one." In this union of the God and the Goddess, the being of Love is born.

We are romancing not just the idea of this union, but its potential to enrich our lives. God is no more a mere concept of a separate, superior being. God is always one with us, and He is within us. He transforms in many ways, and becomes the ultimate transformation of the Soul, manifesting in our Loving actions and thoughts. He is the God that becomes the Goddess through colorful possibilities. He can conceive our Soul, give birth to our goodness, and can nurse our hungry hearts. And He cannot anymore be labeled as He, for the pronouns that separates God and the Goddess no longer labels whoever is man or woman. Love becomes their main gender, and they are in One within our Soul. Our God calculates, organizes and focuses on the physical aspects of how Love is express. Our Goddess endows, sustains, emancipates the soulful, subtle energies of how Love purely exists. Whenever we share Love to others, God provides us tangible ways to do it, such as a physical gesture, or a material blessing. And Goddess imparts Her sheer, pristine divine power of caring and compassion. This very dynamic is happening within us, and we become both the God and the Goddess in our own right. For their awakening reveals the balance of Love within us, and the wholeness of Love invokes our Soul to be whole again.

Paradox of Love

Truth is ultimately paradoxical. None of us can fashion any box of thought that can contain it. No one has any absolute power to make Truth absolute. The true nature of Truth both complements and contradicts itself. There is more to truth than what the eyes meet. There is more to how our senses interpret what we have always thought is real. Reality, after all, in Einstein's physics, is relative. Our own limited realities of Truth can disenchant us in a very drastic way, unless we open ourselves in realizing beyond how we have recognized and accepted them. If reality is dependent on what we choose, therefore, Truth follows suit. But it does not mean that its universality is compromised. Simply put, the Truth of how all Life organically grows is discovered through its DNA, and still the same structure of any DNA remains the same, but combines in infinite ways that makes many creatures different while expressing the same basic features and functions. Likewise, it is the Truth that every human being, despite cultural differences and beliefs, has always the same deep, inner perennial need: to Love and be Loved. If we humans find and express Love through many ways, labels and tools, the nature of Love remains the same.

How paradoxical is Truth? Since Love and Truth are just different words of the same essence that sets us free, why does the contradictory happens? Why are we still enslaved by the trappings of Truth and unable to discern the indescribable essence? To search for Truth is a great adventure, much as to experience Love. Going deeper beyond the surface of our own limitations can we be able to find how Truth and Love become clearly understandable. To understand them is to see the other side, what is unseen. Truth is always deceiving, until we let our inner Truth reveal itself.

This shows us how mind-boggling paradoxes are. The Western foundation of Logic has kept us thinking in terms of polarity: that anything has its opposite, and this opposite opposes the other; that anything has a category, a certain truth where anything can only belong, a compartment of reality that can never be lost. For instance, we have always believed that everything is solid, and categorized them accordingly. Yet our new physics tells us that everything is energy, nothing is solid. It puzzles us to comprehend this nature of reality, because however we can establish the Truth, it becomes more erratic and unstable within the dimension of our limited consciousness. Following Socrates' famous paradox, we can only know the Truth if we acknowledge that we really don't know it. It is only in darkness that one can see inner Light.

Christ foretold it: The Truth will set us free. But how? We must now begin with Love.

Love is the only Truth. We might contend it through time-tested philosophies, doctrines and premises. We might say that Love is just an aspect of Truth. Yes, another paradox: it is and it is not. Love is the trunk of a big tree called Truth. And Love is the big tree itself. We can only see beyond the baffling paradox if we see the big picture: that the Truth remains whole even if we often cut it into pieces. It goes beyond our common assumptions that anything can be divided and separated. Whatever you see incomplete, separated or fragmented is always complete, connected and whole. In this light, there is much to be said about Love.

The Paradox of Love is very true in each of us. We can only find Love if we stop finding it. No one can give us Love but ourselves. Much of our Love deserves the person that we are. We can Love anyone and be Love if we Love ourselves and be Love.

When we Love, we become powerful. But we can only wield power if we throw it away. We don't throw away Love, but the baggage that stops us from Loving, the overpowering manipulation and control we want to impose on others, and the standards of perfection we impose on ourselves. We wield this power but not to be powerful upon others, but to be and have the power of Love inside ourselves. Rather than seeking for the illusion of being perfect by rejecting our imperfections, we must accept them. When we do, we become perfect.

We are butterflies inside caterpillars. Within us, we find our true courage in our fears, our strengths in our weaknesses, our potentials in our frailties. We are humbled if we exalt ourselves, and we are exalted when we humbled down. When we begin to face our own demons, they transform into angels, who are messengers of our true Loving selves.

Beyond these paradoxes is an inherent reality that nothing is really paradoxical at all. That seems to be another paradox, and perhaps the ultimate paradox of all paradoxes: the paradox that there is no such thing as paradox. Because in the ultimate Truth of Love, nothing can be labeled, categorized, compartmentalized, dichotomized, contradicted or simply separated. In the presence of these ways of understanding, the Truth becomes automatically paradoxical. Nonetheless, putting an end to all of them, Truth is simply Truth. And that's how we begin to understand Love.

Wordless Koan

One thing in my wish list is to experience zazen or sitting meditation in the Zen tradition. Although I have my share of meditation experience using other techniques, I am still wondering how a zazen takes place, especially if a koan would exhaust my mind. But even if I really do not meditate the way koan meditators do, my questions on why the world today exists are already koans that wrestle me, and make me exasperated of finding answers. Perhaps the most confounding koan I asked was the absence of God, whom all believed to be an all-powerful being yet remained cold towards the suffering of the world. Those were the old days when I had bouts of maddening angst and outburst of frustrations towards the grueling questions that almost ruined my sanity.

Koans are riddles used by Zen monks to meditate upon so they can arrive on a certain insight. These riddles break their ingrained logical assumptions by putting them in a mode of paradoxical thinking, where every reasoning seems to be absurd. Some of the famous koans are: "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" and "If you see the Buddha on the road, kill him!" Other koans are told as anecdotes, and these are interesting stories with lessons implied, even if they appear puzzling at the end. Like the famous two monks who one day helped a young woman cross a muddy river. Or the story of a goose that grew in a bottle and eventually escaped without breaking the bottle or being harmed. At first, these koans might be unanswerable, since they do not fit any sensible and realistic experience. To answer them seems nerve-racking for an ordinary person, but they can be answered through meditation. There's only a thing that leads to clarity: never take koans literally. Something is being said beyond the words and narratives. Like a nice-sounding familiar idiom, koans jump-start a one's mind to gain a perspective of what is literally seen towards what must be really seen.

Legend has it that when the Buddha delivered his Flower Sermon, he only showed a golden lotus flower to his disciples. Without any word, he remained composed and quiet, with the flower in his hands. His disciples were bewildered of what the Buddha did, except Mahakasyapa, who smiled quietly and got the Buddha's message. Both the lotus and the smile, without a single word, appears to be the first koan, a legendary puzzle that leads to enlightenment. Wordless, yet profound in meaning, like a face that launched a thousand ships, or a picture that paints a thousand words.

I barely have my own zazen experience, yet the truth of koan unfolds in me like a golden lotus. As I explore the world of symbols, I have intuited more through what Caroline Myss, author of the Anatomy of the Spirit, is referring to as the "symbolic sight". Through this gift of symbolic sight, I am able to see the meaning of symbols through every day life, seeing the archetypes that underlie and operate as a reality beyond the limitation of our physical senses. I was able to connect the dots, from what the ancient sages taught, to those that are practically learned wisdom, or those phenomena being discovered by modern science. The experience is like traveling through different dimensions of understanding that cannot be hampered by any single dogma that claims to monopolize the truth. And at the end of this roller coaster adventure is the beginning of an enigmatic silence, which can only grasp the symbolic message what words cannot.

Whenever I am caught flat-footed by a question "How do I Love?", silence appears not just an only option left, but a response that is most appropriate. The question is in itself a profound koan. How I live my life and reveal my inner presence remain both the only indefinable answers that are wrapped perfectly as wordless koans. Among overwhelming questions that are infinitely generated by this curious and baffled society, all the more we are called to answer them not through explanations, but through silence. When Christ told us to lock ourselves inside our rooms to pray - a teaching that is another koan - he asks us to pray inside our hearts. Just as what the Sufis told us that we can only find God when we go into the deepest chambers of our hearts. I have deeply learned that silence is the voice of God that speaks to us. The only job we need to do is to listen.

Yes, in this very time, we all need silence. After many worst events that made noise in our world, being silent does not mean being indifferent, coward or aloof. This is not a silence like just being quiet and never speak. The soul needs silence in order to listen to its own whisper. The great wordless koan calls for our attention, and it can only be read or heard the moment we stop seeking answers outside. This koan, the wordless koan of Love, will remain paradoxical until the time we allow ourselves to understand it. Love, that which cannot be defined by any word, is enough to transform the puzzles of our minds into clarity of our hearts.

The First Year

Before November 15, 2008, a series of experiences had taken place for me to come to my senses that there is a moving force behind my growing personal understanding of Love. I had seen events wherein intentions of Loving-kindness transformed people's lives, as simple as sending blessings to their enemies and getting answers to their prayers. I had talked to people, and seen them how they have renewed their sense of being since then. Love and Loving-kindness (or in Pali, we say metta) have become our buzzwords. These words have been charged with the energy of Loving consciousness, a set of mantras that define our lives. Those events have led me in deciding to bring and send the message of Love. It was my greatest decision that has brought me utmost joys. November 15th marked the remarkable beginning of sharing and expanding the consciousness of Love.

Last Sunday, a year has passed. I am very happy to see how changes have moved many of my friends and acquaintances through this endeavor that has brought us to insights and inner transformations. Looking back parallels to looking forward. Seeing the nostalgia of the past year, I am now envisioning promising years ahead. There is now a momentum, a force that moves this consciousness to spread into the social mainstream. It's about time to bring change, to share the wisdom of Love. I am more compelled this time with words from A Course in Miracles: "Teach only Love, for that is what you are."

It's about time to teach Love.

As a human being, I am still wrecked with fears. I remember those two weeks before I started the Communes. I questioned myself: "Am I capable of teaching Love?" I felt down, learning that becoming real and genuine teacher means I need more time to earn my worth through worldly credentials. Perhaps to deserve something as precious as teaching Love requires purity of being, which I thought I won't be able to have. But, contemplating on self-defeating thoughts brought me clarity: judging myself is not Loving myself. This insight showed me that my human frailties, my remorseful past, my seeming weakness are all but licenses for me to share Love. I have seen myself as an epitome of suffering, and like Christ, I am always capable of resurrecting to a new life. My outer weaknesses have become reminders of my inner strengths. Seeing myself in a different light led me to see the purity of Love within me. Through this, just a shift of thought from judging to nonjudging, I am capable of creating enough energy of Love that has the magnitude to move the world.

As I always share the wisdom of Love, I have acknowledged that it is the same as living Love out. Likewise, when I live and share Love, I am all the more teaching it. There is no need for any proof. I have been living my life filled with gratitude, joy and peace. I am rich of the unseen and seen treasures that overwhelm my heart. I am a soul expanding in many direction and embraces all people in this infinite breadth of Love. This tremendous Love that fulfills me is always enough. And I am thankful that the Communes are small vessels I use from where the Love I share overflows.

Living a Loving example does not take grand actions and vast possessions. Communes' first year has been a witness through small acts of kindness and simple intentions of blessings that bloom into wonderful and awesome experiences. Many people, who became friends, have spoken about the Communes. They have learned a great deal of wisdom, which I am equally learning. Through Communes, we are all setting our hearts to the treasures of heaven, a word that can be simply called Love.

There are more exciting years to come. I have met with two of my Commune friends, to whom I have shared this vision. I am yet to meet the rest, and begin the mission of spreading the message of Love. This first year is not just a celebration, but a beginning of a new path for the journey of many pathfinders. This is a journey of bringing the light of Love to humanity and to the world.

Let's continue to Commune.

Insights from Rocks

Thanks to five-peso Laboratory Manual for Physical Geology I bought in August last year, I was led to understand a bit about rocks, which, according to geologist, are aggregates of minerals and mineraloids. The manual also wrote that to know more about Earth's history, one must start the study of rocks, "for they bear testimony to their origin and subsequent history." True enough, layers of rock have shown the pre-human life, where fossils of early animals have been preserved well. Stone age is the term used to describe the era of humans using rocks as the main source of technology, an array of artifacts that became forerunners of our modern tools and instruments. Civilization, and thus man-made structures have risen, taking root through the Earth's bedrock as their foundation. Moreover, rock is always synonymous to the Earth, and many literature has written this kind of timeless metaphor. Indeed, rock is undoubtedly an important foundation of human life.

I don't want to sound like a scientist here, but this rock thing has an interesting take on my deeper understanding of Love. Looking closer, the rock is a simple fragment of this Earth, perhaps has witnessed millions of years of changes, yet remains unmoved and unchanged. Change is the main quality of our existence, seen in the turn of seasons, of weathers, of eras, of ages. Life comes and goes, from cells to human beings, no exception. But what has left behind is the rock in this kaleidoscopic rhythm of life.

I was particularly surprised on the 8th commune when during my sharing a web of wisdom became so clearly threaded in the topic of Love. I found myself quoting Jesus in Matthew 16:18 where he said "upon this rock I will build my church." Christ's teachings are quite mysterious and cannot be taken literally, for His poetic wordings can only be deciphered with discerning wisdom. It had been my dilemma for many years, and realizing His meaning of rock is liberating. It was right there before my eyes. Rock, the symbol of lastingness, is the symbol of Love.

My most favorite, and perhaps the most active wisdom I have from the Buddha is his saying on Dhammapada 5: "Hatreds never cease through hatred in this world. Through love alone they cease, this is the eternal law." Eternal. This word is the antithesis of the Buddha's teaching of impermanence; yet this word echoes the quality of Love. Only Love has the power to dissolve hatred and to stop violence. And it is for eternity, it doesn't change and never can be corrupted. The Buddha's words pushed me further to juxtaposed this message with the essence of a rock. This rock, bearing innumerable years of existence, represents how Love is truly eternal.

Like a seed sprouting, this rock nesting on my neurons had eventually grown into a very insightful statement I shared in the 9th commune. While sharing the message of love to a group of teenagers at my home, I was again amazed to learn more about Christ's first temptation. Satan asked him to turn stones/rocks into bread, but Christ refused. In a split second, I recalled a friend who often refers to money using the word "bread." Money is somehow a symbol of immediate survival, of insatiable hunger we humans want to satisfy, and thereby never leave us contented. We eat this bread everyday, we do our affairs based on this bread, we decide and not decide because of this bread, we harm and kill each other because of this bread. All of our lives are surrounded and cycle around this bread. It seems that this "breadmania" has ruled our lives and still we remain hungry for more. With the power we know we have inside, we have chosen to turn the "rock" into this bread, and thus suffering became a normal human experience. Nevertheless, Christ said that man does not live by bread alone. It didn't say no need for bread at all. Its not just bread. Love matters, for the words said with Love feed and satisfy this hunger and emptiness of our lives.

It was my first chance to have a small talk with a new Muslim friend after an interfaith service in Pasig. It is quite a dream, since I want to learn more how Love is seen through the Islamic eyes. We had a vibrant exchange of thoughts, and his sharing were intuitive response to my questions on Love. He quoted from the Hadeeth (oral traditions of Muhammad) and I asked him to write this in Arabic on my small notebook. It says in English: "Every part of the person's body must perform charity." Charity is often equally defined as compassion, or more so, unconditional Love. Only awe and gratitude came from me while hearing these words. Finding a Muslim friend allowed me to understand Love in the context of Islam. More than the religion itself, the human experience behind the words of Muhammad represents the deep-seated longing to express and live Love. It reminded me that for every thing that I see, I must see it with the eyes of love. For every deed my hands do, I must do it with Love. For every words I hear from others, I must listen to it with Love. I must open my arms with Love, walk in the path of Love, eat with Love, speak of Love, smell flowers with Love and all the infinite actions I can do as a being. I must be, do and have Love, because I am Love.

The wise builds his house upon a rock. A modern technique if you ask civil engineers. Finding the bedrock is a challenge yet the most important thing to ensure that a building would erect. No wonder the Christ's used the word rock. Every house (which symbolizes the body) standing upon rock (which is Love) can last forever, unaffected, unshaken. This body, sooner will corrupt, so temporary, if acts with Love, can be rendered incorruptible. The flesh may wear out, but not the Love that has made it vibrant and alive in every moment of its life.

The night before His enlightenment, the Buddha was tempted by Mara, the lord of death, and eventually challenged Him to tell why is He rightful of awakening. Unperturbed, He touched the ground and said "the Earth is my witness." Rock, the main ingredient of Earth, borne witness. Of all insightful thoughts about rock, it therefore upholds Love as the true measure of our awakening.

May the eternal Rock within us reminds us the eternity of Love.