One Wish

Today, I have one wish. 

My wish is far more different than what I have wished every time this day comes. I become more certain that this is the right wish. This wish is both ordinary and extraordinary. Ordinary, for it is but a simple desire of something tangible and physical. It's a wish that brings great pleasure to the person who wishes it. It becomes a gift of blessing, and a present of joy, wrapped in lovely surprise. This wish will remind the wisher that there's always a miracle possible in every wish. Whatever we wish both will make any wish come true. 


This wish is extraordinary, for it brings peace of mind to the wisher. It's the wish that ignites the heart of the wisher, and illuminates the wisher's wisdom. Once wished, this wish calls the Universe to conspire for its fulfillment. Once fulfilled, this wish calls wonder to inspire the wisher's heartfelt success. The truth that this wish conceived empowers the wisher, to allow him to become the wisher for many others' wishes.

My wish is always simple, yet can be more infinite than imagined. This wish is a wish of simplicity, as simple as how the heart desires for something immediately needed, like money or basic necessity. Or something like a little change in the wisher's life situation that can offer a dramatic impact. It can be a wish that fills the wisher's spirit of adventure, or that opens door to golden opportunities. It is simple, because it doesn't need to be elaborate, as long as mine and the wisher's heart are in harmony of deep prayer, bringing this wish to reality. 

This wish is infinite and complex, because it is part of an endless chain of wishes in the long timeless chain of wisher's life. The wisher chooses his/her life to lead him/her, and those choices are actually wishes with full consciousness. Every time the wisher makes his/her mind, the wish becomes not anymore an invisible seed, but a growing shoot in the ground of God's consciousness. The once unseen wish is beginning to become visible. The wish is, like any other fulfilled wish, is not anymore a wish, but a reality. And it doesn't stop there. This fulfilled wish now provides the seeds of infinite wishes, all intended from the heart of Life. My wish nurtures another wish, which in turn nurtures the revelation of truth. So this inner truth can be finally found within the wisher's soul. 

My wish today is for every wish to be fulfilled. I wish that my family experience good life. I wish for each of my friend's growth, may it be in their careers, in their relationships, and in their inner pursuits. I wish for every person that has come into my life to reach their potentials, to enjoy happy lives, and to become who they truly are. I wish healing for the sick of the world, peace for every war-torn hearts, joy for deep-seated sorrows, freedom for anyone who are enslaved by their problems.  I wish that every question be answered, so every soul can begin their journeys to the rough terrains inward. I wish that whatever wish fulfilled is a wish that brings not just pleasure of the senses, but the magic of the spirit waiting to astound.

Today is Friday - the day of Venus. Since this is the day of the Goddess of Love, I am happy that this day has come. I wish that today every wish be filled with Love and fulfilled in Love. My one wish embraces all wishes of all people who have become my wishmasters, whose presence in my life become wish fulfilled. My one wish is Love, a Love that never fails to make their wishes come true. And with all my heart, may Love become the truth of every wisher's heart.


Today, as my life is born again, I declare that this wish is now fulfilled.

Soulful Musings

I am trying to look for a very important thing inside this wonderland lit by many colorful spectacles from a myriad of merchandise. Many eyes feast, and that includes mine, though the difference is that I am in the verge of search for something unseen. Yes, it might be right before my eyes, I wonder. Nevertheless, what I see is a group of friends, some are wearing funky outfits and kooky hairstyles, while some are students on their uniforms laughing around and taking pictures. I see lovers, holding hands or arms wrapping on each other. I see tykes playing around, some with a balloon on their chobby little hands. and I see a mother unhurriedly pushing a carriage of her baby. I also see a lolo with a warm smile sitting on a wheelchair; a lola holding her walker tightly, while slowly strolling along the tiled hallway glittered with different lights from glass-windowed stores. I see a  police officer following his buddy, a leashed German shepherd. I see a salesperson playing a toy she sells in a kiosk. I see a huggable mascot gently ambling with several kids, whose parents aim their digital cameras. I see them all, yet there is something more.

Maybe it's the magic. There's magic in every color that appears, from many clothes hanged or modeled by mannequins. Equally magical are those countless pair of shoes, appearing in leather, rubber, with straps or heels, enticing many feet to try and wear them. Perhaps the magic of those toys in many different kinds and sizes, calling more kids to play them. Or watching glass elevators and escalators easing up and down on many floors. Maybe some magic inside an arcade glowing video game machines or glass-enclosed tokens and stuff toys. And adding those restaurants offering luscious meals in a cozy interior, or ready to eat, scrumptious fast food. Perhaps the magic of bright-light gadgets, and computers, or the latest cellphones. Or those of paper bags of apparels and shopping carts of groceries. Yes, they can be something that I'm looking - or dreaming - for. Still, I have to look for that something.

Amid these people, who relieve their tired weekdays in this weekend spree, I nonchalantly walk towards a famous bookstore. Tracing back my memory, it is in this wonderland - found in many parts of the country - that I met some of the books that changed my life. It may sound too dramatic, but these book seemed to appear like they longed to find me, rather than I longed to find them. I have read them thoroughly, since that very day, and I am still in the state of awe, having a wow feeling that seeped under my skin and throughout my body. It appears that I have been looking for them, for books are those I often buy whenever I loiter around this wonderland. But, in the course of my search, there is something more. 

Perhaps, that something cannot be found behind the glasses, nor it has a price tag and a barcode. It must be appearing in many ways, all the while thinking it might be a singular object, yet it is not. I still bother for this something unseen, yearning to grasp this elusive, indefinable subtle thing. It has drowned - or floated sometimes - on the sea of people and commodities. I feel clueless, but certain, that this thing is just around. 

Certainly, it might have something to do with a childhood memory: as a kid of overseas parents, I was excited to celebrate in this wonderland once my parents came back home. There again, a bunch of bulky blue plastic bags filled with surprises, from where my new experiences would come. Yes, I'm quite sure of this, I just need more hints to remind myself of finding that something, while trying to figure out if I'm really looking for it, or if that thing I look really exist.

Funny, for I have begun to figure it out. This something has been there, I just forgot to see it. Because it is among the people who enjoy themselves inside this wonderland, or the appetizing food that satisfy tired and hungry shopping hours. It is what makes the hands and arms of the lovers stick to each other. It is the laughter itself, and the smiles saved in digital cameras. It is the glow from the child playing freely, or the subtle radiance from an elderly whose sweet dreams are in this place.  It must be the unspoken wishes within those who mans the store and kiosk, those cleaning the public restrooms, and those security guards inspecting bags. My visit to this wonderland has reminded me once and for all, that all beings inside are different souls with personal longings, forgetting their problems and becoming one with any tangible joys. 

Again, I recall a memory of mine as a little kid, on a bus on my way home; how nice to see those huge blue and white S and M letters on the facade of a windowless building. I thank the magic this wonderland brings, for in at least ordinary way, I have defined this something soulfully, like a nostalgia. Now, as I come back again and again, I only see the Love that fills much wonder in the memories and experiences of those people I come across - and similarly fills mine. 




Thanks to SM City Lipa and http://www.wowbatangas.com/

The Sacred Moment

(conclusion)

In all of those spiritual literature I have read, there is one obvious thing commonly talked about, yet the most subtle truth many of us find unnoticed. It is called in different words, such as the Now, the Eternity, the Zone, the Flow, the Nondoing, the Present, the Kairos, the God's Time. All these terms point to the same experience. It is obvious, because it is happening right here, right now. Nevertheless, it still unnoticed; for we often forsake the truth of this truth: that all reality is only happening now, with its fullness, wholeness and holiness; the truth of the Sacred Moment. If the Sacred Moment is something that appears before us, what hinders us to see it?

There are actually two things that stop us: the past and the future.

We are always defined by our past. We have networks of memories, often associated with some unwanted experiences. Haunted by these lingering regrets, we want to correct every bad memory, if only we could invent a time machine to go back again. We hated those things that caused us to hate ourselves. Escape becomes a meaningful way to undo what we abhor. It comes in many forms: like putting layers of masks coming from our careers, the powers we wield over others, the economic status and its symbols, the comforts of social labels, and those emotional stronghold we use to manipulate other people in any situations. A new friend shared a fascinating metaphor that makes these "masks" more three-dimensional: she finds the experience like that of babushka dolls. Those smaller cylindrical dolls hidden inside the bigger ones represent our different unwanted lives often hidden and confused from the truth of one's being. This experience is not uncommon. We tend to hide our bitter selves with another life we struggle to live, and we do them repeatedly until we end up incapable of tracing back our true selves. 

We are also defined by the future. Many of us want to peek into our fortunes as if cheating our destinies. Once we get a glimpse, we live like everything would happen as they are fated to happen, without exercising our power to choose the course of our lives. We draft long-term plans, similar to constructing a house or going to war, strategizing events to prevent delays and ensure favorable conditions.  If not, worries become our nightmares. Strings are attached to us from the ticktocking hands of our clocks and watches. We have deadlines and due dates that horrify our days, and we are left with no choice but to dream of "sooners" and "laters", handing the possibilities of the things we most wanted to do to a tomorrow that never comes.

These two clearly cast the inner darkness. They keep us from noticing and enjoying what is happening at each moment. They both bring us the anxieties and discomforts and pains, things that we would rather vehemently reject than accept. They torment us with thoughts, emotions, and sensations, altogether manifesting like entangled knots we badly want to unravel. But, at the other side of the coin, they ignite the light of our awareness. But how?

Shortly before I discovered an insight, a particular memory had been wearing away my patience. I was quite worried on both my shortcomings I committed in the past, and those things that might embarrass me in the future. I felt distressed and I lost my concentration. I was trying to refocus my attention to the surrounding nature where I was. Still, the memory disturbed me. I was triggered to breathe again. I inhaled strongly, feeling the air in my nostrils. Then, I exhaled. As I did it constantly, I began to lose the feeling of internal pains. More than that, I was surprised to discover that the sound and chill of that morning became more intense. I felt enveloped with gentle tranquility. It was so remarkable that it lead me now to the insight of the Sacred Moment.

The Sacred Breath, in this Continuum, becomes the Sacred Moment. They are two, and yet they are one. In this flowing, non-ending, unfolding Continuum, our breath brings us to experience life in a more magnified way. This sacred transformation pushes our awareness to the flow of the Continuum. The Breath turns into the Moment, and the Moment cuts through the chaos within. Instead of rejecting any unbearable pain, we can tolerate them. It is always sacred to pay attention to our pains, since this process is always a birthing of wisdom. Our pains are usually results of our tendency to be attached to something we reject or crave for, which fail to satisfy us. Enhancing our awareness of the Moment teaches us to appreciate whatever blessings we have that we often take for granted. As an insight, the Moment awakens us to a very simple maxim: what we look for is always elusive; what we overlook is always at hand. 

Our reverence to the Moment does not only work out for internal pains. We are ever-creating beings, and each minute is a Sacred Moment of creation. Whenever we express ourselves in many artistic ways such as painting or playing musical instruments, or practical chores we do everyday,  we have often felt that time literally stops or slows down. Our senses are heightened, and we are fully concentrated on the process. The same thing happens when we commune with nature, connect intimately with our loved ones or friends, or engrossed with the works of our daily lives, we are all enthralled by the magic of the moment. And as William Blake puts it, infinity is really in the palm of our hands. When we experience our lives this way, every movement, word, or stroke expand our souls to the fringes of time and space. We are brought to our awareness of everything, of wholehearted gratitude to all. Every Sacred Moment is a deep prayer, wherein possibilities are endless, and Oneness is truth.

At the seemingly end of the Awareness Continuum, Sacred Moments bring us again to the Sacred Breath. Both of them are now intertwined, inseparable, and indistinguishable. They exist in distinct ways, in different instances, but with the same intensity and mystery. They consistently transpire to this never-ending flow, when we begin to recognize that both of them are transformations of the unconditioned and enlightened core of our souls: the obvious and unnoticeable, yet the ever-present experience of Love.

The Sacred Breath

(second of the three-part series)

I remember a question I have asked myself some months ago: What makes a person spiritual? Is it praying or talking to God? Is it performing rituals? Or reading holy scriptures? Collecting ritualistic implements? Is it chanting a mantra or incantation? Or preaching the teachings, perhaps? Anyhow, there is only one simple answer that instantly popped up in my mind. The word spirit is Latin for breath. Initially, I was surprised, and it came to my senses that to live a spiritual life need not be complicated.

But the Spirit has been purportedly labeled by different means: it is known as a "holy ghost", unseen yet felt; or it can be a force, an energy, that flows in different energy points of the body, as it was cataloged by ancient oriental physicians. The Spirit is also known as an intelligence, working like mysteriously simple, a cosmic field that envelopes the whole universe with its inner workings beyond the logical reasoning of modern man. Seeing these differences conjures up both direct and indirect interconnection of all ancient wisdom and contemporary insights. Whatever language used, the Spirit is definitely a universal phenomenon that proves not stark contrasts, but evident similarities. Furthermore, the Spirit is not really something out-of-this-world phenomenon elaborately discussed in many scriptures and mythologies. It cannot just be understood in a manner of intellectual arguments. To simplify, anyone alive, human being, has a direct, tangible access to the seemingly mystical entity. For the Spirit is nothing but Life itself, the air that freely flows in and out of us. Awareness of the Spirit, thus, is awareness of breath.

"Nakalimutang huminga!" (Forgot to breathe). A cliched, tongue-in-cheek remark among Filipinos to refer to someone who died. Would this be an eerie analogy for many of us whenever we are unaware of our breaths? Although we are alive but we are so unaware of our breath because we complacently allow our body to breathe involuntarily. Being unaware of breath is like forgetting to live. Even though we breathe involuntarily, or unconsciously, it is still a far cry from breathing with full awareness. Forgetting to breathe with awareness is akin to death. To breath is solely our own mindful responsibility. To bring this awareness back is to lucidly understand that God, Life, and Love are all but one essence right under our noses.

The breath, therefore, is the link to the mystery of Life, or God. The Book of Genesis says, "...from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living." (Genesis 2:7). Mystical traditions like Hasidism and Sufism have emphasized the importance of breath in understanding and establishing relationship with God. Eastern traditions have used the terms prana and chi to refer to the breath and its significant role in deep spiritual practices. This universality of breath cannot be ignored, and must be acknowledged not just a connection to God, but as a central tenet that is a common denominator of all religious traditions.

Beyond religious truths is perhaps how being aware of the breath really influences our everyday lives. Sometime I had a stuffy nose that, at the very instant, I began to appreciate the importance of breathing. My meditation practice has helped me, and more so to understand how I simply forsake the breath in my everyday experience, so as to lead me to value my breath. To reinforce this insight, I was able to recall that our body utilizes oxygen to fuel key metabolic processes that run the life within our bodies. Lower oxygen is always related to lower immunity defense. And in many studies, lower immunity defense may mean that one has lower Loving awareness. Interestingly, breath awareness interconnects deeper, and that is to the awareness of the Love within.

The Sacred Breath has now lead us to a more essential realization of Love. This realization is both easy and difficult. Easy, because Love is really an effortless being, the true nature from which our lives emanate. But it is also difficult. We all have our inner pains continuously layer inside us, blocking us from Love. For instance, negative emotions, which arise primarily as our reactions toward external circumstances and past conditioning, leave us callous to this Loving awareness. Our tendency to distract ourselves and escape from pain makes it more difficult. We often look for Love as a feeling, and being overwhelmed by negative emotions creates confusions and repulsions, amplified with many stereotypical rationalizations and never-ending self-defeating thoughts.

Our breath is something we often neglect, the thing we often overlook yet always at hand. Amazingly, the moment I bring back my awareness to my breath, amid all emotional and mental storms, the intensity of my suffering and resistance lessens literally, if not disappear altogether. It helps me more to become aware of the pains, to understand where they come from, and to resurface the equanimity that I had lost when I was overpowered with emotions. What is remarkable is that there is no need to struggle to find a feeling or experience of Love. Because Love itself has manifested as the Sacred Breath.

Regarding my ostensible perception that I am torn between breath and moment, it is indeed an illusion. Truly, being in pain and focusing on the breath somehow prevent me to appreciate how the beauty and sensibility of the present moment unfold, yet since the breath is present moment itself, I cannot really miss anything. This is when the Awareness Continuum becomes visible. The Sacred Breath, at the other end of continuum, transforms into the Sacred Moment, as my awareness recognizes that breath itself operates in the eternal Now. Breath enlarges my experiences by virtually easing my pains, giving birth to profound insights, and engaging me to cherish whatever surrounds me at the very minute of existence. The Continuum paradoxically shows that at any point, the Breath and the Moment exist, both simultaneously and separately in the process.

(to be concluded)

The Awareness Continuum

(first of the three-part series)

Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.

--Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace


Once, an insight came to me in an intuitive flash, when the words awe and air seemed to split apart out of the word aware. I just heard the word broke into two syllabicated sounds and transformed into distinct words and meanings. It was quite surprising to uncover a greater insight on meditation, though I set aside it for some time. Then, some weeks had passed, on one of my walking meditations, I was a little torn between focusing on my breath and focusing on the natural surroundings that moment. I have usually understood meditation either as breath-centered or moment-centered. But I felt a little confused; because, whenever I wanted to focus on the moment, I veered away from breath. After several steps, I realized that I was doing well, free of internal pains and external concerns. In that very state I was able to appreciate more of the moment: the steps of my feet, the coolness of the morning, the beauty of trees and the flowers.

There, I was immersed with awe of the moment. Immediately, I became aware of my breath, which I couldn't put more focus awhile ago, yet I felt it anyway. It was followed by a recollection of my recent restlessness, wherein I became more focused on my breath as the air passed in and out of my nose. In an instant, another insight emerged: meditation is actually a continuum of awareness, from the breath I breathe to the moment I witness. There is no need to be torn between the two, because they are both in the same dimension. While in the wonder and flow of each moment, there's awe. While in pain and discomfort, there's air. As facets of awareness, both of them transform me in this never-ending inward quest.

In one of his talks for the meditation retreat, S.N. Goenka stresses the vital role of Equanimity during meditation; but, as he reminds us, this is just one wing of a bird. A bird cannot fly with just a single wing. Same goes with meditation, which would not be possible without Equanimity's inseparable twin: Awareness. In truth, one cannot be equanimous without being aware. I have mentioned some points on the article Equanimity Paradox, wherein one can have "equanimous awareness." In this regard, being equanimous is being aware, and vice versa; they are experiences with the same magnitude and often manifesting both in the long run of meditative process. Both equanimity and awareness are two distinct consciousness yet indeed unmistakably one single process by which enlightenment is already happening. And to understand more about this process, just as how we have understood Equanimity, we are now going to delve into Awareness, not as a separate aspect, but as a unique entity crucial to reaping the benefits of meditation.

I have observed that throughout the long history of meditation and its wide array of techniques coming from different ancient traditions, meditation falls into two categories: Awareness of the breath, which is foundational in all eastern forms; and Awareness of the moment, which characterizes most western prayers, creative activities and even Zen-like concentration. And basically, this cultivation of awareness in each meditation is always sacred. Nothing can be more sacred than being in the moment and aware of each breath, for both exhibit this fundamental truth in the spiritual path. Mystics and sages of the ancient world provided us different ways to approach these two kinds of Awareness, and the their sacred quality has allowed thousands of unknown people to realize unfathomable spiritual consciousness.

Let us explore how these two sacred ways of Awareness meet in the same continuum. Breath exist in the framework of any moment, while each moment gives chance to heed the breath. I will discuss them separately, so we can see different context in what ways both of them interact dynamically and yet remain quite experientially distinct. On the other hand, understanding them in context can elucidate how the continuum works in the process of meditation, may it be in sitting or in daily activities, so as to put them into practical use at all our life's situations.

(to be continued)