Existential Stage

(second of the four-part series)


First Stage
The word existential might raise philosophical and theological contentions. People have their own views on what existential means. On the other hand, understanding the Pathfinding stages is in no way of expounding any arguments and complex explanations. Disclaiming any possibilities might be a practical way to shed out many assumptions on using this word to describe the first stage. In this way, we can clearly examine how being existential clarifies the experience of finding the Path.

Let us take first the root word "exist." From this word the dilemmas of human consciousness arise. We are lives aware that we are alive, as Erich Fromm puts it. We exist but we are clueless why we do. So we begin to ask. As beings who knows that we know, it has been confounding to accept that we can throw questions that are hard to answer. Worse, to ask questions that remain unanswerable. The basic question is "Why do I exist?" It weighs equally with the question "Who am I?" Both questions are asked by so many people; these people became sages, some became philosophers, few became insane. The thought as to why we ask these kinds of questions adds to these profound anxieties. This capacity to ask makes our lives more mysterious. And to realize that death is waiting us without warning, that we can be swept without finding any answers, has troubled us far deeper than we can imagine.

Then, we have forgotten asking questions to a certain extent, in three very familiar ways: First, we forgot to ask questions, along with our refocused attentions towards making a living and good money for the sake of our survival. We have lost this ability when we left childhood. Second, we have lived in conformity and have submitted our lives to a questionable matrix of our existence. Yet we are afraid to ask. We fear to be outcast and to be renegades against our society. And third, we have bored ourselves asking the same questions over and over again. So we choose not to ask anymore and live our lives as we believe it should be.

However, this ability to ask questions is inherent to us. In fact, it is our nature to ask questions. Our consciousness is mystery itself seeking to uncover the workings of greater mysteries. We are questions seeking ourselves as answers. Micahel Gelb, author of How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci, talks about Curiosita, one of the principles Da Vinci used in his creative processes. Gelb discusses Da Vinci's unwavering attitude of curiosity. Da Vinci asked a lot of questions, and maintained his childlike sense of wonder. I believe most of us, as little kids, were used to ask rapid-fire questions. But our curiosities were staled because of our parents often scolded us to stop asking questions. In time we have learned to submit to conformity and blind faith, bringing this fear of asking questions.

We have seen in our histories how the questions of our great radical thinkers turned our world upside down. They were movers and shakers of their generations, used their fields of knowledge as tools to bombard their society with timely questions. They raised questions that helped restructure the old paradigm of the status quo and opened new doors to a more expansive worldview. Novelist Jostein Gaarder, author of Sophie's World, writes: "The most subversive people are those who ask questions." Asking question is an act of subversion towards a society living in deep-seated attachment on existing comfort zones. Those in these zones will do their best to resist this "disruption of balance" by eliminating the source of any threat of change.

Of course, we don't need to fear that we might cause threat against some established beliefs. Our generation has tolerated many questions that allow us to propel in science and technology. But our main step is to bring back the the mind and heart of curiosity, to ask questions again and not be threatened by our own efforts to seek answers.

The Existential stage of Pathfinding is the stage of asking questions. But questions are non-ordinary. They are questions referring to these encompassing life issues. Questions that cut through weakened assumptions and conclusions of secular and consumeristic lives. They often present the realities of asking about the human purpose, God's existence, magnitude of opposing polarities, mystical dimensions, exoteric and esoteric teachings, religious and spiritual experiences, skeptical search on the nature of truth, outlook on past, present, and future, and personal understanding of suffering and pleasure, of life and death.

The question might be as simple as "Why do I feel pain?" Pains may range from skin abrasions to emotional and mental anguish. Asking this question does not automatically jump-start us to search for an answer, whether or not it is beyond our comprehension. We often find some rational explanations (or timeless myths) that can cast light temporarily, yet insights will continue to elude the us.

To find oneself in this stage, try to ask this questions to yourself: Do I ask these existential questions in discussions, yet often brushed-off by others? Am I asking questions to deepen the understanding of my life? Do these questions make me crazy at some point in my life? Do I want to discover my true purpose, or understand mine and God's nature? Do I feel the need to transcend my personal understanding and open to the Higher Consciousness (or whatever I call it)? If you feel positive connections with these questions, you are now being called to respond to the powerful cause, of giving yourself to be in touch with the whole human and divine awareness. Your questions are no less than an epitome, a beacon of light that brings courage to those who are afraid to ask.

Even if we have reached the second and third stages, the first stage will remain part of our Pathfinding process. If we are like being drenched in raining question marks, we can find ourselves in this stage. There are no immediate answers. We better allow this cascades of questions to surge. It will naturally flow to the next stage: the streambed of exploration.

(to be continued)